remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i out mim tonsoeep
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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