Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
