i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
