i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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