Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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