oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
