my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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