Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
