Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's always time for handjobs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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