This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
