The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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