I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
