This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
