if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
