i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
