it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
