Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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