question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
