your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
