Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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