ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
