I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
