Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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