entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
