Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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