On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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