At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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