New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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