Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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