now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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