No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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