I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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