: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
