Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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