The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
