dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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