I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
