you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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