hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
