the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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