Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
