no, he came in my armpit
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
