He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
