Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
