You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
