how can u be prego again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
