i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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