You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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