I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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