Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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