And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
